Not much has been going on the last couple of weeks. Life has been a blur, in fact. I did get the above, autographed photo back which I’d sent across the pond for Joan Collins to sign, and I’ve been assured by other fans in-the-know that it’s actually her signature. I also finally broke down and got my Nevada driver’s license, as well as a Las Vegas library card. So I suppose I’m officially a local now, after nearly two years. The library card was necessitated mainly by the fact that I absolutely have no more room for the celebrity biographies I’m so fond of buying, and I’ve checked out five books since I’ve gotten the card (and finished three–going on four–of them!). I like this quote from the bio I read on Sal Mineo:
“I know that basically I’m a very eccentric person and always have been. It’s a marvelous life. How long it will last I’ll never know. But I have never gauged myself. I have never said maybe I’d better slow down because ten years from now, things will be bad. I live day to day. Every day is a new day and that’s it. My love of freedom is fantastic.”–Sal Mineo, from page 201 of ‘Sal Mineo: A Biography’
I saw my psychologist on October 30th, a few days after I got back from the trip home for my Granny’s funeral. Immediately when I walked in his office he said, “You look more mature and put-together today.” I told him about going home and doing the eulogy, and how I was so relieved to have done it without drinking or making it all about me, or anything else I might’ve tried to do in the past. He listened and replied, “Doesn’t it feel good to feel dependable and responsible instead of self-defeating and manipulative?” I agreed and we talked a few more minutes before I was smack-dab out of things to talk about. About halfway through the session, I told him I have a good life and I hated to waste anymore of his time sitting in silence trying to think of something to complain about. And I still feel that way a few weeks later; I have nothing to complain about. I ended up leaving his office without making a future appointment, though I know I always can if I need to do so. I’m also taking a break from AA, mainly because–from my perspective–the negative energy I was feeling due to my refusal to attend more meetings per week was outweighing the positive energy I’m experiencing in the rest of my life. I certainly intend to go back, especially when I know I need to go back. It’s vital to know when to step away sometimes, and I’ll always be grateful for the help AA has offered me, and continues to offer me if and when I need it.
Connie Britton’s screen daughters on ‘Nashville’ sang a duet last month that really hit home to me; this week’s blog title is the title of the song they sang, in fact. The lyrics go like this:
Sittin’ here tonight,
By the firelight,
it reminds me I already have more than I should.
I don’t need a thing, no one to know my name,
at the end of the day,
Lord I pray, I have a life that’s good.
Two arms around, heaven to ground me,
and a family that always calls me home.
Four wheels to get there, enough love to share,
and a sweet sweet sweet song.
At the end of the day,
Lord I pray,
I have a life that’s good.
The song actually has two verses, but they only sang the first verse on the show. Anyway, you can hear the Stella Sisters’s version of the song, as well as the writers’s versions, *here*. It’s a great song and it sums up where I am in my life right now: Less is more, family is everything, and I’m so thankful for the little things that make life worth living. Life has its ups and downs, and I still have plenty of fears and anxieties, but overall there’s no doubt that I have a life that’s good.