My trip home to Georgia was indeed a spectrum of emotions as wide and at times off the chain as spelled out in the blog title. If I’ve ever laughed so hard I’ve thrown up in a kitchen sink, it’s been a loooooooong time. But we were having such a good time at my cousin’s house, and I had a mouthful of sweet tea and had to run and spit it out because of all the joking around we were doing. The next thing I knew I was laughing so hard I just vomited all over the dirty dishes still waiting to be cleaned from lunch. She didn’t even miss a beat and told me I didn’t have to clean the dishes, but I had to made sure all the vomit went down the drain. So with tears still streaming down my face from the laughter, I did just that. And speaking of tears, there were many healing tears shed on on this trip. But I had to shed the tears to deal with the feelings
that the vodka would’ve been numbing otherwise, and so that’s what I did.
This was a trip that I was supposed to make last month and I didn’t because I wasn’t sober at the time. It’s true what they say about everything working out in God’s own perfect timing; had I gone home last month, I wouldn’t have gotten to see half the people I got to see on the trip home this month, nor would I have cared about seeing them because I would’ve been perpetually buzzed the entire trip home. I saw people I’d not seen since I moved away–people whom I’ve kept up with and who care about me a great deal, and vice versa. And it was great to see them and tell them thank you for their support in person. That being said, here’s a few of those people…
Overall, it was a good trip home. I even got to an AA meeting at the church I grew up in. It was a horrible meeting with mostly court-ordered participants in attendance, and so I got up and left halfway through and went to visit the grave of my friend’s mom who died 10 years ago. I’d never visited her grave and that was something else which was really hard to do, but which I’m now glad I did. There’s plenty of things in life which we don’t want to do, but we need to do, especially if we ever intend to emotionally heal. I sat there in that cemetery–her mom’s headstone is actually a bench–and just sobbed for about 1o minutes. Not just about her mom–who was my Sunday School teacher in college and like a second mom to me in many ways during that period of my life–but about a lot of things. I sobbed so hard that some poor old pepaw visiting a grave about 30 feet away just walked back to his truck–I wanted to holler and ask him what he thought cemeteries were for if not for crying. But I needed to sit there and cry and just let it all out. I realized all the reasons I missed my plane home last month. And then I realized all the reasons I got on the plane and came home this month. And I’m so glad I did, and I’m so glad I did it sober. I’m so glad I did it sober.
That’s all for this week. Hope everyone’s enjoying their summer. Don’t forget to take time to smell the roses, or whatever other flowers are in bloom. Even if it’s raining. I enjoyed seeing a bit of rain while I was home. And all the grass, and the pine and pecan trees. But it also felt good to land in Vegas and feel like I was back home here as well. Hope everyone has a good weekend.