“Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living. You may not have ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough.”–Daniell Koepke
I’m blogging tonight from the comfort of a sofa in one of the hotel suites at work, snuggled under a blanket and enjoying some HGTV in the background for company. This is my once-in-a-blue-moon night when I’m “training someone” (ironic quotes) to cover my shift; it’s actually the last night of training before they work alone, so I hide away in a hotel room to give them the feeling of manning the property alone, but I’m here in case they need me. Anyway, it got me to thinking even though I certainly wish most every single day that I had a better job, I don’t really have it that bad. It’s not like I’m flipping hamburgers or working a check-out stand at Walmart (though a job’s a job in this economy, let’s be honest). And then I saw the above quote on Tumblr tonight, and though I’ve seen it and shared it before, I thought it was worth sharing again.
I blogged last week about how we all need to be coddled from time to time; on the totally opposite hand, I think we all spend a lot of time spinning a lot of plates to try to impress others and to make ourselves feel better. After all, perhaps if we stay/look busy enough and act like we know what we’re doing, no one will question us or our motives. In the end, like Salem the Robot Cat in the priceless GIFs above and below (he really was one of the greatest sitcom sidekicks ever), all the plates will get dropped if we’re not careful. They’ll spin outta control and we’ll be left feeling like the little black cat whose trick went awry.
I remember one dark night on my way to work during my last semester in college, all I could think about was the plates totally spinning out of control. Things at work were a nightmare, my thesis was coming due, my internship was a bear, and I was drinking every chance I got (to self-medicate, of course…I rationalized it all away). I thought for a split second about driving straight to the Alpharetta hospital and checking myself into the psych ward, if they even had one; I just felt like maybe I couldn’t handle all the pressure anymore. But I knew if I did that I’d “lose everything;” I wouldn’t graduate, I might lose my job, and everyone would know about all the drinking. So I bucked it up and drove to work.
I’m not sure why I’m sharing that except that it’s a relief to be so far removed from that situation nowadays. While I’m not in therapy per se, I’ve spoken with my pastor several times and, as I’ve told him and shared on here before, he’s given me better advice than any I’ve ever paid for. He’s very down-to-earth and, believe it or not, we can sit in the prayer room right off the sanctuary and curse if the dialogue exchange calls for it (which seems to occur on my part more often than his–shocker, right?). He’s doing a sermon series right now entitled, “God, Help Me Change My Life” which has been very helpful to me personally. I’ve met with him once since the series started to discuss my thoughts on it and I can honestly say the “session” with him was more helpful than all the therapy sessions I paid for a few months ago. Anyway, the last sermon in the series is next Sunday, and I’m looking forward to it.
Speaking of which…
Yup, it’s fixin’ to be May! April has flown by, but it’s been a good month. Hopefully May is just as good or even better. Here’s hopin’ so…