“Honey, I self-medicate all the time. I work out, I do yoga, I meditate, I play with my dogs. You gotta get outta the house, outta your own mind, and out into the real world. Just do it…don’t think about it, don’t over-analyze it, and whatever you do, don’t drink!”–My very wise hair stylist Gia
The above, parting advice after my haircut the other day was the point at which I whipped out my insurance card and my AmEx and asked Gia if she’d be my new therapist.
We all know hair stylists do double-duty as therapists anyway, right? But really, that’s some of the greatest advice I’ve gotten not only in a long while, but ever. I’ve not been drinking the last couple of weeks except one drink here and there. I don’t have any liquor in my house at the moment, and I’ve honestly not missed it. I’m to the point in my two-steps forward, one-step back journey that I know good and well that I was always “drinking” (profusely) for the wrong reasons. Always. End of story. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. And that’s just me personally; I’ll never judge others and where they are on their life journey. But as for me, no rationalizing or “self-medicating” or “de-stressing” or anything regarding alcohol will ever change. I know owning and accepting has been the key to the whole puzzle, though it’s actually not a puzzle at all. It’s pretty simple, and it always has been. I’m the one who’s made it very, very difficult the last three years. End of story again.
That being said, Gia hit the nail on the head when she put a positive spin on self-medicating. It took me a couple of days to wrap my mind around what should be another simple concept, but when I was grocery shopping at
Smith’s Kroger the other morning, I had to use the restroom and ended up being routed through the pharmacy department to do so. That’s when it hit home to me (I guess I need to see/walk-thru literal interpretations sometimes): medicine is not a bad thing at all. I was self-medicating with vodka, but self-medicating in general is fine as long as it’s done with positive, nurturing elements instead of toxic ones. I’ve been walking a lot more now that the weather’s warmer, and that’s always an outlet for being outside and outside of my thoughts (but only with my iPod on, or my thoughts follow me out the door on the walk…haha, awful joke). I actually–and I know this sounds very silly to most people–truly do self-medicate during my hunts for vintage matchbooks. Retail therapy, if you will…the thrill of the hunt for the undiscovered, priceless ones! And I enjoy looking through them once I get them home, which I have to do every so often or I forget what I already have in my ever-growing collection. (Every time I’ve sobered up, I’ve become a bit OCD about matchbooks. I’m not sure what it is about them that fills the void, but it works.) I also found a glider rocking chair in the trash on the curb once the rowdy family next door moved out last week, and it needs a bit of TLC but is in otherwise perfect working order. So that’s a new project to work on (sanding, staining, purchasing a new cushion, etc.). I’ll post before and after pics on here once I craftily self-medicate on that fun task.
I need to get in better shape overall…my knees are doing much better, praise the Lord, so I can and should do more besides just walking. I’m in a good place spiritually and emotionally, but I could and should be more active in church and much more sociable. I can tell I’m getting a bit cagey at work…my anxiety’s riding high now that it’s “busy season,” and weird stuff like flooded rooms and some of our long-term guests testing my patience have been irking my nerves (and both those situations came up just tonight…so relieved it’s my Friday). In other words, I don’t wanna end up feeling like this…
Or this, actually, though it’s always fun to push the envelope and cross boundaries a little bit…
Rather, there’s no reason not to feel fancy and carefree like the always glamourous Fergie in the scene below! And I apologize for the cheesy GIF in advance, but it made me laugh so hard when I saw it on Tumblr and brought back such fond memories of this hysterical song from six years ago. Let’s just pretend she’s for sure not self-medicating with Grey Goose and is instead merely joyful and high on life. (We know for sure she’s not high on crystal meth, since my favourite Fergie quote will forever be, “My hardest boyfriend to quit was Meth.”)
Life’s too short not to be happy. It’s a balancing act to make that happen, especially at work. Easier said than done, but you’re never alone (even when you work alone like me!). Just do it…and do it again (and again) if you mess up. Here’s another great quote below and then I’m out for this week. Thanks as always for reading…the blog’s also a roundabout form of self-medication, though some would dispute that since it’s a public forum of sorts. Que sera sera…Happy April Fool’s!–brt
“Don’t settle. Don’t finish crappy books. If you don’t like the menu, leave the restaurant. If you’re not on the right path, get off it.”–Chris Brogan