The last few weeks now seem to have all been a blur, and I much prefer that over the mental hell that I was actually experiencing. The good news is that I’m in therapy with someone whom I feel I can trust to help me with my plethora of issues. We’re going to meet weekly for awhile and then go from there. I keep reminding myself that it’s always harder to actually work on the issues than sugar-coat them with meds or booze. An investment in myself and my own mental health is more than worth the co-pay for therapy; I have no idea how much I was spending on vodka and new clothes to fit my ballooning body when I was drinking, but it got me nowhere really fast. A couple of days shy of 90 days re-sober, I’ve lost 20 pounds and can fit into clothes I’ve not worn in over a year. Boost to self-esteem and my vanity? I can check that off my list.
My goal for this week’s blog is two-fold: I’m going to hopefully close the book on my personal saga with alcoholism for awhile. The blog hits don’t lie–I’ve gotten hundreds more hits each week since I began addressing this issue, but I need to step back and let the therapist do her magic. I’m still a huge advocate for AA coming out of the basement meeting rooms and into the mainstream, but I need to fight my own battles first before I continue any such crusade as that. I’m also fully aware that I’ve been putting much, much more of my personal life–and my thoughts and feelings–out there than I normally do. While that was therapeutic during some very manic, downright scary times, I feel much more calm and self-assured now. (Thank you, Mums, and the melatonin you suggested.) At the end of the day, Queen Camille said it best:
So moving forward, that brings me to the main focus of this week’s blog: Giving Thanks! I’ve preferred Thanksgiving over Christmas most of my adult life, which is the main reason I always make a point to get home at Thanksgiving. Turkey Day is much more low-key than the high dramedy and hallowedness of Christmas Day. Having worked either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day most of the last 10+ years, I can vouch for the fact that life goes on if you’re not with your loved ones on that particular day. Spending laid back times with family are preferable to me over the rigamarole of holidays; perhaps I like Thanksgiving so much because I’m not doing any of the hours of cooking! I’m looking forward to being home at Shiloh this coming week and enjoying home-cooked meals, catching up with family, and counting my blessings. Speaking of which, here’s some things I thank God for out loud every single day:
-A safe, quiet place to live
-A cozy bed (so many people in this world don’t have a bed to call their own)
-Food and clothes
-A vehicle to get me to a decent job
-A loving family and good friends
-Thanks to God for being my best friend and my closest confidante
Other things I’m thankful for:
-My past, present, and future
-The freedom we take for granted in this country; the fact that I can travel home 2,000+ miles for Thanksgiving, for instance
-My education, both in the classroom and in the hard-knocks of life (AKA wisdom)
-The people whom God has put in my path to help me along this journey called life
-Getting to spend eternity in heaven, away from the perils and frustrations of this earthly life
I’m also thankful for a nurturing church family. My pastor left a voicemail for me the other day, just to check on me since he’d been out of town the last couple of weeks. That means a lot, as do the opportunities to get to know members of the congregations better (we have three congregations that meet in one church). I’m thankful I get to officially join this fellowship of believers soon and be as involved as my work schedule currently allows.
That’s all for this week, folks. Perhaps I should add that I’m thankful for some peace of mind, but hopefully that’s apparent by the lack of 15 GIFs and the insertion of plenty of well-structured sentences in this blog entry! Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers, and a blessed weekend to all my other readers around the world.