Jane Fonda wrote an aside in her book, which at first I thought was unnecessary and not fitting to the context of an autobiography. But by the time I finished reading it, I had tears in my eyes; those of us who speak before we think can empathize with one another. She was pretty much explaining–from her heart as a flawed human being, not as Jane Fonda the celebrity–what actually happened in Vietnam on her infamous trip there as “Hanoi Jane” (the public’s term, not hers). She hurt her leg over there, made some poor decisions, and had to answer for them. (I can relate to this pretty well as of late!) There was much explaining, putting aside of differences, and apologizing…that’s what I feel like I’ve done this week.
Ironically enough, on the day it downpoured and flooded out streets in Vegas, I had an emotional deluge of my own. Many tears were shed and my heart was broken for others going through pain–both physical and emotional–as well as those whom I’ve hurt in the last several months. Those people know who they are and I’ve apologized to them as best I know how right now. I still have a long way to go and fully realize I need to act on my words with apologetic actions and gestures, some of which I actually already did before the apologies (but did they mean much beforehand)? To quote Fonda one last time, she speaks in the book of her brother Peter wearing his heart on both his sleeves. I feel like I’ve run outta sleeve to wear my heart on (yet again…I suppose I have a life-long case of that), and in this case it truly is both, untailored sleeves.
There’s not really any need to go into more detail on a public forum, so I won’t. With that being said, be thankful for those turning points in your life when you realize a change of heart has to come. Destructive patterns and self-destructive patterns must be broken. You may initially resist recognizing the catalyst, and may try to ignore it altogether. But God will see to it that the seeds He planted get watered, and the change will eventually happen in His due course. Even on a day of overwhelming rain, the seeds He planted will not be washed away.
I’ll end with these GIFs, which made me laugh harder than usual in a week when I needed some laughs. Thank you, all the terribly witty folks on Tumblr, for making me laugh harder than you’ll ever know. Sometimes a good, hearty laugh is better for the soul than most anything else. Thank you, Lord, for tears followed by laughter. And the will to change, even if that means feeling much weaker before I feel stronger.