Coming up on three weeks since I had my first job interview in Las Vegas, I have been quite humbled to’ve been turned down for a few jobs, and I’m also kicking myself for turning a couple of jobs down. But I have another interview and a long-awaited phone call on Tuesday which will hopefully alleviate me feeling like such a jobless loser! I’ve chosen to look at the situation as God humbling me; I came to this town and thought I had a job at Bellagio wrapped around my finger my second day in town. Such was not the case, and I have been on a roller coaster of emotions waiting to find out if/when I’ll be gainfully employed in lovely Las Vegas. It’ll happen sooner than later, and in the meantime, I can sincerely say that God has humbled me greatly.
Ironically (or not, depending on how well one knows my penchant for obsessive phases of “research” on a particular subject/event/person), the only book I brought with me from Georgia that I’m currently reading for the first time is Jim Bakker’s I Was Wrong. I wrote a blog on Tammy Faye’s book early last month, and I also read their son Jay’s book called Son of a Preacher Man. As I wrote on Facebook at the time, it’s baffling to read about the same turn of events from three members of the same family, yet to be told three, almost completely different stories. To his credit, Jim takes the blame for most everything that went wrong with the downfall of PTL and Heritage USA. I’m a third of the way through his book, and he still claims to not understand what landed him in jail. (After reading all three Bakker family member’s books, as well as a book regarding his trial, I’m not sure I know either. But that’s another story.) The point to me sharing all this in this particular blog is that God used prison to humble Jim Bakker. This was a man who employed 3,000+ people and whose ministry brought in millions and millions of dollars per year. Literally overnight, all that he had built was taken away from him: his ministry, his house, his business assets, you name it. Whether or not he legally did anything wrong (his 45-year sentence was later overturned, after he served a few years in prison), Jim Bakker was humbled by God in prison in a way that he would never have been humbled otherwise. Bakker has been quoted as saying that he never really, truly felt he knew Jesus until he was in the depths of prison. That’s a sad thing for him of all people to share, but I’m sure he felt it to be true at the time he said it.
It’s funny–and I can literally laugh, because it’s just so true–that God uses times of fear, frustration, impatience, lack of money, and lack of practical purpose to humble us in ways that we’d never otherwise be humbled. Had I been hired on lickety-split out here, I would not’ve learned a tenth about life and myself as a person of the world that I’ve learned in the last three weeks. Yes, I want a job, and yes, I wish I already had one, but God is using this time to teach me things that I would otherwise not be open to taking the time to learn. God is good, all the time…